Ok so...

Do you guys think I'm responsible? Obviously, I like to have fun and I'm crazy almost all of the time. But, seriously, do you guys think I'm a good "leader" and can take on some responsibility? Because apparently Matt doesn't think so. At the meeting today, Miss. DeWalt said something about being responsible and I'm like, "Oh, I can be responsible :o" and Matt goes, "Nuh-uh! You Are not responsible!"

[rant]
Fuck, have I NOT helped you through yer problems, Matt? Have you FORGOTTEN how I've driven you home nearly 90% of the time during Stage Crew? Do you have ANY FUCKING IDEA what I go through to make sure all of my friends are OK and are having a fucking BLAST?! Do you even realize that maybe when I'm not joking around, I actually think about life seriously and try to do whatever it fucking takes to make sure all my friends are happy and are not depressed. I try to HARD to make sure our friends don't fight with each other. I try to not act like a bitch so that way people can trust me. I like solving problems, Matt and it hurts when you say I can't even do that. If that's not responsibility then obviously we have two different opinions on the matter. I don't want to hear yer excuses, 'cause I dun care. I just want you to realize that sometimes not everything can go your way, got it? Not everything has to be someone else's fault. Sometimes you can take the blame for what has happened. That's what a person who is RESPONSIBLE DOES. You On the other hand, have shown NONE OF THE ABOVE. So don't give me shit about being immature, irresponbile and whatnot. I'm fucking sick of it. If I hear one more thing from your mouth RELATED to those topics, I'm going to punch you in the face. No lie, I will do it.
[/rant]

God. I didn't mean to sound all... arrogant and whatnot. I just wanted Matt to know that sometimes she shouldn't assume things. Now, I might not be all that I've said I am/what I do, but I like to think I try...

~~The FiFi~~

[P.S.] I'm highly considering printing my rant to her and being all, "Bitch, please." But, I won't do that until she's pushed all my buttons; she's pushed about 3/4 so far. So... yeah D: I dun wanna be a bitch but God does she get me frustrated sometimes. Who can be so ungrateful to someone who's done so much to help them? Fuck, it makes me mad... whatever. I hope she realizes that if this continues, I won't as passive as I've been and I will snap at her.

[P.P.S.] I've decided to talk to Sara by the end of this week, preferably Friday where I won't have to see her til Monday :o I'll probably tell her everything--from why I've been so closed off to being clingy one day than cold the next to I think I've had/have a crush on her to please forgive my moodiness. AND THAT'S ABOUT IT ;DDD I hope this talk will turn out ok... D: