What's It Feel Like to be a Ghost by Taking Back Sunday

And then you said a little more about your dreams,
Like it was my call (my call)
If you would only listen
Bypassed everything and went straight for the neck
(I study)
We study
(up nightly)
Dragged you out into the streets
Before you buckled at your knees (buckled at your knees)

What's it feel like to be a ghost?
(Well, louder now, louder now)
So what's it feel like to be a ghost? Ahh
Are you up for, are you up for this?
(Well, are you up for, are you up for..)
Are you up for, are you up for this?
(Well, are you up for, are you up for..)

This is quick but not quite painless,
It sits perched on your arm.
Tacky and irrelevant (So what?)
A permanent reminder that, oh Christ
(I study)
We study
(up nightly)
Drag you out into those streets
Before you buckled at your knees (buckled)

What's it feel like to be a ghost?
(Well, louder now, louder now)
So what's it feel like to be a ghost? Ahh
Are you up for, are you up for this?
(Well, are you up for, are you up for..)
Are you up for, are you up for this?
(Well, are you up for, are you up for..)

I said so, look closely
There might be something you'd like
What was it like?
(oh and I...)
Looked so close, it's been months who knows if I,
Will get this right.
(Oh and I..)
Look so closely, there might be something you'd like
What was it like?

Oh and I...

So, what's it feel like to be a ghost?
(Well, louder now, louder now.)
So what's it feel like to be a ghost? Ahh
Are you up for, are you up for this?
(Well, are you up for, are you up for...)
Are you up for, are you up for this?
(Are you up for, are you up for...)

Awesome.

Looks like I've, once again, fucked up.

Ok so, lets just get it there for everyone to see: I'm a super slut. HA, yeah. Big surprise there.

No, I'm being serious. Three days after Emy and Freeman broke up, he takes me out for a dinner and shits and at my front door, we peck on the lips. And he told Emy that I kinda, sorta wanted him as my first for WHEN I was in college, but ONLY if they weren't together by then. He tells Emy this and she tells me to go over to her house and I'm like, "Fuck, wut happened?" Well, this is what happened.

Emy chews me out (as expected) and now she's going to tell everyone of his and my little "relationship" and basically tell everyone I'm a giant slut and that I want to date him, fuck him, etc.

And what am I to do? It's true. I'm AM a giant slut, but I didn't exactly want to date him, and I wasn't going to fuck him as of RIGHT NOW. I feel... just... I dunno what I feel right now XD This doesn't SOUND like me. Like, I feel like I've JUST gained control of my body and now I'm paying for my little mind fuck-up.

Just.. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS I THINKING? I just lost one of my best friends and for what? So I could date Freeman? I KNEW he was a manwhore... I KNEW that he'd get sick of me and move on... I KNEW ALL OF THIS.

So, then, why did I go ahead and do those things? And furthermore, why the FUCK did Freeman tell EMILY? Of ALL FUCKING PEOPLE.

Wow, we are both so fucking stupid. HA, SOOO STUPIIID. I am going to disappear and never return...

What really hurts me is that she so quickly turned around and started throwing these things at me. Like, I knew it was going to happen, she still loves him and I completely deserved it. But... that doesn't mean it wasn't going to hurt. I want to take it all back. For the first time in my life, I want to go back and start over. Everything from basically Kindergarten. I can't believe this is happening...

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Now playing: Train - Drops Of Jupiter
via FoxyTunes

Slurpees.

Yup, you heard me. I got Slurpees today with Matt and my sister. But before that, Matt had come over to hang with us while I was playing Assassin's Creed II and totally owning it. I got a text from Alex at around 5:30-ish and he wanted to hang with us too. Sooo at 7:30 (after my wonderful shower in my mom's shower~) me and Matt went over to his and his family is amazing XD I WANT IT. Mine's... dull. Nothing really interesting except my mom being a lunatic nearly 90% of the time (which is kinda entertaining if you're bored lol). So yeah. That was my day. Pretty, uh, normal, but amazingly fun~ I also drove Matt around and sped through streets, blasting The X so loud my car shook. 8D T'was awesome lol.

~~The FiFi~~

[P.S.] I am nowhere near done with my chemistry and I'm leaving for two weeks starting July 11th and the chem is due August 14th I believe XD WHOO PROCRASTINATION AT IT'S FINEST!!

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Now playing: Alien Ant Farm - Smooth Criminal
via FoxyTunes

Soooo...

Looks like I'm not seeing fireworks with anyone tonight. Depressing :/ Well, I can always just sit out on my roof and watch the firework from here I suppose.

Yeah, I'll probably end up doing that. Alone. *le sigh*

~~The FiFi~~

[P.S.] I haven't change out of my PJs today. I'm such a lazy bum XD But hey, I'm likin' it.

[EDIT] I did end up going out tonight anyways ;o I went with Alex L to see some fireworks up by our Sears hardware and we met up with Chris (WHO HAS SHORT HAIR NOW), Jessjess, and Bekah. Good stuff! It was fun haha. Sooooo yeeeaaaaaah... still thinkin' about that one thing happened that one night... (me = pathetic) [/EDIT]

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Now playing: Michael Jackson - Beat It
via FoxyTunes

Tonight...

...was interesting.

~~The FiFi~~

{P.S.} WE KISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And now I'm going to try and get some sleep :3 G'night!

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Now playing: Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce - Telephone
via FoxyTunes